March Week 1: Gentle Forward Motion
Therapy On the Hill – March Blog Series
March is not a restart. It is a negotiation between what has been resting and what now wants to move.
The calendar insists that spring has arrived. The light stretches further into the evening. Windows open a fraction. There is the faintest suggestion that something might be beginning again.
Internally, however, it is rarely that tidy.
Energy returns in flickers. Motivation appears, then disappears. One day you feel ready to reorganise your entire life. The next you are back under a blanket wondering where that surge went.
Nature models this beautifully. Early spring is uneven. Buds appear before the frost has fully lifted. Soil softens in patches. Some branches wake while others wait. Nothing unfolds in a straight line.
Psychologically, change is much the same.
We are often sold a version of habit change that looks linear and decisive. You decide. You commit. You improve. Behavioural science tells a more interesting story.
The Stages of Change model, developed by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, describes change not as a single decision but as a cycle. People move through phases of contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance, often looping back before moving forward again. Returning to an old behaviour is not evidence that change has failed. It is evidence that change is dynamic.
Addiction research reinforces this. Alan Marlatt’s relapse prevention work distinguished clearly between a lapse and a relapse. A lapse is a brief return to an old pattern. A relapse is a full return to previous levels of behaviour. The difference often hinges not on the behaviour itself, but on the interpretation that follows it. Self-criticism increases the likelihood of escalation. Self-compassion increases the likelihood of recovery.
In other words, inconsistency is not the opposite of change. It is often part of it.
Habit formation research echoes this pattern. A widely cited study by Phillippa Lally and colleagues in 2009 found that new habits took on average 66 days to become automatic, but the range varied enormously, from 18 to over 200 days. Automaticity developed gradually and unevenly. Missed days did not reset the process to zero. The system adapted.
March is an excellent month to remember this.
From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy perspective, values do not require perfection. They require orientation. If you drift, you turn slightly and continue. The line may wobble, but the direction remains.
This becomes particularly relevant in modern life, where many of our habits are entangled with technology.
Scrolling, checking, late-night streaming, constant notification monitoring. These behaviours are not simply failures of discipline. They are reinforced by design. Behavioural psychology has long demonstrated the power of variable reward schedules, where unpredictable reinforcement strengthens repetition. Social media platforms rely heavily on this principle.
Neuroscience adds another layer. Dopamine is less about pleasure and more about prediction and anticipation. When rewards are uncertain, dopamine activity increases, making behaviours more compelling. Struggling with technology use is not a moral weakness. It is a predictable interaction between human nervous systems and carefully engineered systems.
Research on attention, such as Sophie Leroy’s work on attention residue in 2009, suggests that task-switching leaves part of our focus behind. Constant digital interruption fragments attention and can increase stress. Add in research linking high screen use with sleep disruption and elevated anxiety, and it becomes clear that March’s urge to adjust our tech habits is not trivial.
The key, however, is not to declare war on our phones. History suggests that declaring war rarely improves relationships.
Behavioural models such as BJ Fogg’s behaviour formula remind us that behaviour occurs when motivation, ability and prompts converge. When motivation is low, increasing force rarely works. Adjusting environment does. Peter Gollwitzer’s research on implementation intentions shows that specific if-then planning increases follow-through more reliably than vague resolutions.
So rather than dramatic declarations, March invites gentle experimentation.
Choose one habit that feels ready for adjustment. Not overhaul. Adjustment. Reduce friction rather than increase force. Move an app off your home screen. Turn off non-essential notifications. Charge your phone outside the bedroom. Pair a new behaviour with an existing routine.
Let the experiment be data rather than a verdict.
When energy rises, match it with steadiness rather than acceleration. When it dips, respond with curiosity rather than criticism.
March does not demand proof of progress. It offers an opening, which is a far kinder invitation.
The ground is softening. You do not need to sprint across it. You only need to take the next step that feels proportionate and aligned, and allow the rest to unfold in its own uneven time.
From a Compassion Focused Therapy perspective, you might also notice which internal system is most active as you contemplate change.
The threat system tends to produce thoughts such as: you are behind, you have wasted time, you must catch up.
The drive system sounds more energised but can be equally forceful: this is your chance, optimise everything, make it count.
The soothing system speaks more quietly: it is early, take this steadily, you can adjust without attacking yourself.
March works best when drive is guided by values and balanced by soothing, rather than whipped up by threat.
Just One More Thing
Choose one small habit adjustment this week and frame it explicitly as an experiment. Write a simple if-then plan, in the style researched by Peter Gollwitzer. For example: if I pick up my phone after 9pm, then I will pause and take three breaths before unlocking it.
Notice which system comments on this plan. Label the voice as threat, drive or soothing. The act of naming often reduces reactivity and increases flexibility.
About the Author
Dr. Richard Pomfret is a HCPC-registered Counselling Psychologist and founder of Therapy On The Hill. He works with adults experiencing a range of emotional and psychological difficulties, offering evidence-based therapy in a compassionate and collaborative way.
Contact
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